It's a hoax!
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Long ago, in the Constellation of Kasterborous (that's quite far - galactic coordinates ten-zero-eleven-zero-zero by zero-two from galactic zero centre, some 250 million light years away ) there lived three Timeladies who lived on their regal home planet of Gallifrey. Apparently there's another famous Timelord from there but his name escapes me....anyway our three Timeladies: Margo, Florrie and Annie grew ever bored of the lifestyle there - far too complacent for their exciteable nature so they hungered for pastures new. (The grass is always bluer on the other side, as the Gallifreyan saying goes...) One drunken night, after Annie had made the three of them gallons of Sontaran Slings - a popular cocktail in those parts - the innebriated trio decided to steal a TARDIS and see where they could end up. To cut a long story short (too late), they nicked said TARDIS, tried to pilot it, and almost succeeded until Florrie went over on her heel crashing into the console and sent the TYPE 40 veering off-course...
After a much bumpy ride, their stolen vessel materialised on Earth, and after wiping the screen clear of foundation, Margo announced that the timezone was Humanian Era, 2005. As they left the TARDIS they discovered they had landed in the grounds of a slightly imposing collection of buildings...quite old indeed. One of these buildings over the course of some months was to become the secret headquarters of the Timeladies - yes, it was Hurndall Hall.
Since their un-timely plummet to Earth (which they were pleased about seeing as how it was agreed by all three that the cock was far better there than anywhere else in Mutters Spiral) the Timeladies have saved the Earth on many an occasion from invasion from other worlds in one form or another - The Wirrn attack on Ethel Terrace...Daleks destroying 75% of On El...an Auton Invasion in Jackie White's Market to name a few.
The Timeladies are there for us all ladies and gentle-homo's - they're here to protect us!!!
- Historical update***
After a jovial honeymoon period on Earth, the Timeladies well and truly were living it up....lads, lipstick and liquers were the order of the day by far and then foiling the odd plot to destroy the universe by a passing maniac in their spare time. However....back on their home planet of Gallifrey certain people weren't suited... The High Council got wind of the Timeladies shennanigans and in particular Chancellor Flavia was stotting - on a Queen Mary of Teck scale. With this in mind, their activities were to be monitored intensley and Inquisitor Gail Force was put in charge. After a period of time, the High Council realised that the Timeladies were in fact doing Earth a favour and eased up on the monitoring, placing Inquisitor Gail in position as chaperone....
- Torchwood Newcastle***
During their time on Earth, it's been necessary for the Timeladies to leave the planet for periods of time, and so it was deemed necessary to have a standby defense - thus was created Torchwood - the main branch being in Newcastle Upon Tyne..(the exact location is underneath the Centre for Life ie the Gay Scene dear..their main headquarters is under here accessed via a secret entrance.) Original members of Torchwood Newcastle are Pats, Iris and Jamie with the subsequent inclusion of Joyce and Polly...Torchwood Newcastle have had their fair share of action not least of which involved Davros trying to destroy them using a scenario including a broken toilet door in a bar...
- Additional Allies***
On their travels our three Timeladies have encountered many other species and people, some of whom are mentioned below:
- Bella -Timelady Margo's Earth daughter
- Huggy - Gallifreyan friend of Timelady Florrie
- Amy - Gallifreyan sister of Timelady Annie
- Meg - Half-Gallifreyan slut from Ryhope, Earth
- Angela - Princess of Trakken
- Suzie - former member of Torchwood Sunderland, now re-located to Torchwood London
- Moira - a cleaner at the Parisien Residence of The Countess Scalioni
- Blue - former Earth companion of Margo, now a member-in-training of UNIT
BBC Television Hurndall Hall Media
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