It's a hoax!
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Sir Turtle Porn of Dukeington was born in 1537 in Dukeington but soon moved to Kalibasis, France due to his fathers death from severe anal leakage; supposedly caused by his secret homosexual afairs with his male neighbor Juan Pentershmit. Sir Turtle Porn went to Shalvister Elementary school and then due to his massive intelligence went to Oxford. He majored in penguin rape and relations. He got his doctorats in that field and soon moved to antartica with nothing but his beanie his father made him and his ipod 4s with 4g internet connecton. His big discovery that made him famous in the field was that nearly 100% of penguin rape was caused from elephant seals with massive blue balls, because female elephant seals nag and don't put out. Sir Turtle Porn's invention that got him knighted was the invention of the elephant seal penis sleeve so they are satisfied and have no need to rape penguins. When he returned to France with his discovery and invention he soon got a leeter from King Weinersham of England saying he was going to be honored with a knighting ceremony in 1649. King Weinersham later asked to have a penis sleeve of his own made, as his wife also nagged and didn't put out. He later died in 1653 during intercourse with his wife Bethany Porn in Kalinsporg, Germany
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