It's a hoax!
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Glory Be Told to the Heavens, For On This Day, Twenty Long Years Ago, a God Was Born.
Nicolas Herrera is quivering mass of primo, Grade A, 100% Argentine beef packed into a taut 5'5" body of sun-kissed, curly haired sex. This Adonis of all that is man whose skeletal system is pure steel-comprised biomechanics, wrapped in musculature of bacon, and vasculated by the godly fires of Sriracha, is not just a man; a man is He.
He is very rarely seen in his purest of states; the volatile nature of his masculinity is far too much for the public eye to handle. If the true state of his were exposed to the world, females all over the world would instantaneously implode upon sight of him. Other men quake in his presence. The world is too young and nary a saged enough place for the tasty, tasty tomfoolery that Nicolas Herrera has in store. Let's be honest. When you see him wrestle a demon cobra to the ground only by staring into its cobalt blue eyes, you will fucking shit bricks.
Sure, he has a sensitive side, too. For five seconds, until he sticks those candy-assed emotions into his mind vice and crushes them like the pussies they are. Why? Because he's a goddamned man, that's why, and if you aren't down with that, then fuck you.
He cries tears of pure fire (I made that up, he doesn't cry. Ever.)
He can park a fucking car.
He pisses excellence.
Bulls inject his testosterone for steroids.
And he always beats the Google Maps estimated arrival time.
The Man. The Myth. The Legend.
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