It's a hoax!
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Charles Kyd- The Early Life
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He began his life as a small black child, living on the hard streets of Maui. He went to Canoe Harbor (bitch) Elementary school for the first few years of his life. He spent winters eating oysters and jockin' bitches; he spent summers riding elephants to orphanages to speak to the children, and let them know "how great it was to have parents". In the spring, he spent his days staring at the wall. All in all, he was a boring child. Except this one time, when he totally jumped a set of stairs on Main and 13th st. It was fucking sick.
When he was 13 he tried absinthe for the first time and fallowed the green fairy all across Africa. He went stampeding with the gazelle, till he met the bush people and declared mission accomplished. As it so happens, George Bush Jr. actually leased his banner from Charles Kyd himself. It was also, by most accounts, pretty sick. Sometimes, when the moon is full, you can still here the screams of lepers in the fields. They scream, but smell of lilacs. Mostly because of his Axe Body Spray.
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