Steven Raudenbush was born of a gypsy troupe and had a birth defect of having only half a testicle and feathers where his nipples should have been. After High School he joined the armed services and listened to reggae music. Afterwards he had a child and raised it to become a crime fighter who specializes in annoying people with a laser pointer. Steven Raudenbush is rumored to still be alive although no contact has been made with him or his child in the last 3 minutes.
Steven Raudenbush is the only human on the planet that is capable of wingless flight. He concentrates really hard and sometimes poops as he takes flight. He uses this ability to combat procrastination as he is notoriously late for work. Steven's boss thinks that he is gorgeous, so he really doesn't need the ability to fly.
Music plays whenever Steven is performing a task of any sort. This phenomena is caused by Steven's amazing hair and dreamy brown eyes. Music angels fly down to earth and play tunes that match the task Steven is performing. It is said, that god himself appointed only the most talented to handle this super important job.
Overall Steven Raudenbush is probably the most incredible person on earth and you should accept all of this as nonsense.
That is all
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