Spooky Lampington is not a mythical being but a very real person. He is a post modern monster (similar to people such as MaKenna Lagaly). Forget the "knowledge" that you think you know about Stalin and Hitler being the greatest murderers of this era, but turn your attention to the real monster, Spooky Lampington. Spooky Lampington is the greatest murderer of all time. He sneaks into houses in the middle of the night and completely and utterly destroys all of your poor, defenseless, innocent, lamps. As a wise man once said "Dwight. you ignorant slut" I believe that this quote was not actually directed toward "Dwight" but to Spooky Lampington, the great killer of Lamps. His technique of luring lamps into his hands was very simple. He would just cordially extend to them an invitation the the pants party and when they came out...WHAM!!!!!!! He hits them with his car and also gives them rabies. After his killings he is quoted as saying "Occasionally I'll hit someone with my car so sue me". I, the brilliant man writing this article am hosting a fun run for the awareness for this disease and it shall be called Michael Scott's Dunder Mifflin, Scranton, Meredith Palmer memorial, celebrity rabies awareness fun run pro-am race for the cure. My name is Dwight Danger Shrute and you can reach me at my dojo where i serve as Sempai, equally respected as a sensei. I am an owner of Shrute Farms, a beet farm, where sometimes i host garden parties so you can also reach me there. Lebewohl (German for goodbye)

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