It's a hoax!
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Species: Scopophilius Eathemuffimus
The Scopophilius Eathemuffimus is a carnivorous marsupial and the Scopophilius Eathemuffimus is therefore distantly related to kangaroos and wombats. Although the Scopophilius Eathemuffimus's closest relative is a kangaroo, the Scopophilius Eathemuffimus has the appearance of a wild dog. Kind of amusing, since dogs do not frequently smoke pot from a german gas-mask.
The Scopophilius Eathemuffimus is characterized by their black fur and the offensive odour it secretes when stressed. The Scopophilius Eathemuffimus is also known to making a horrible, loud screeching sound when the Scopophilius Eathemuffimus is distressed or feels threatened. If you are not careful, it will fuck your shit up.
The pregnancy period of the species will last between 3 and 4 weeks. The litter size will vary, but the mother only has enough mammary glands and nipples to nurse four hundred young.
Since the late 1990s, a nasty fecal mutation disease has caused the Scopophilius Eathemuffimus population to decline, meaning that the Scopophilius Eathemuffimus is now an endangered species.
The facial mutation is thought to be a type of cancer and ends in fatality about a year after it is contracted. Other sources contend the disease is related to excessive ingestion of canned tuna and corned beef hash. Solidified bacon grease is a known antidote for the mutation, but application of this tincture is extremely difficult.
The Scopophilius Eathemuffimus is very fierce, but that does not mean we shouldn't try to save them. If people shoot them because they attack something, that is like killing a friend, there will soon be no more.
The Scopophilius Eathemuffimus known to display odd and slightly psychotic behaviour. When the Scopophilius Eathemuffimus feels threatened by a predator, is competing for mate or even a male, the Scopophilius Eathemuffimus displays a series of behaviours including lunging, teeth-baring and growling. The Scopophilius Eathemuffimus turns to rage so quickly that European settlers first named it the devil.
Scopophilius Eathemuffimuss are highly carnivorous and survive on snakes, birds, fish, insects and road kill. When a carcass is found, Scopophilius Eathemuffimuss are known to be one of the loudest animals when it comes to fighting for a meal. Often found in the remote jungles of Venezuela, but can also be easily located using products such as catfish bait.
Becomes violently overreactive upon hearing myths, fables, and other tales regarding military incompetence as well as virulent reactions to questioning or criticism of deviant nasty dyke sex.
It is the extreme right-wing's worst sort of enemy. A disabled veteran of the clone wars, the onset of which, it was granted the title of Dyke Vader.
Species is commonly associated with deviant homosexual activity but it thoroughly enjoys companionship of related males, but only those with male oriented "daddy issues".
Often eats its own young.
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