It's a hoax!
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Republican Anxiety Syndrome is a condition whereby, the Republican Party of the United States of America causes a person to suffer from frequent attacks of intense terror and apprehension, often marked by trembling, shaking, confusion, dizziness, nausea, difficulty breathing. These Republican Anxiety Syndrome attacks cause fear or discomfort that abruptly arises and peaks in less than ten minutes, can last for several hours and can be triggered by the parties unwillingness to compromise on anything, demand that women never have the ability to choose, constantly lie to the American people, attack the President of the United States when he tries to make changes we can all believe in, and always finds new ways to rig the political system in a way that helps them dishonestly win seats during the election seasons.
In addition to recurrent unexpected panic attacks, a diagnosis of panic disorder requires that said attacks have chronic consequences: either worry over the attacks' potential implications, persistent fear of future attacks, or significant changes in behavior related to the attacks. Accordingly, those suffering from Republican Anxiety Syndrome experience symptoms even outside specific anxiety episodes. Often, normal changes in heartbeat are noticed by a Republican anxiety sufferer, leading them to think something is wrong with their heart or they are about to have another attack. In some cases, a heightened awareness (hypervigilance) of body functioning occurs during the Republican anxiety attacks, wherein any perceived physiological change is interpreted as a possible life-threatening illness (i.e., extreme hypochondriasis).
If you or someone you know is suffering from Republican Anxiety Syndrome, it is highly recommended that you support the Democratic Party. By doing so you can cure your Republican Anxiety to know that there is a strong group of leaders who truly want to make your life better. By supporting the Democratic Party you are creating a stronger work force with better wages, health care and a world class retirement system. Not to mention, you are also encouraging innovation, educational opportunity, and small business creation. Even more importantly by supporting the Democratic party you are also laying the ground work necessary to expedite immigration reform. Overall, your answer to Republican Anxiety Syndrome is simple, stop being lied to, stop being cheated, and stop being anxious over the party of "NO". Start feeling better, support the Democrats and your life will begin moving into the LEFT direction without all the built up Republican anxiety standing in your way.
Author: Ryan A. Starzyk, Veteran, American Patriot, Progressive Liberal with Independent Values
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