It's a hoax!
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Lambolian Simolian-A creature native to Northern Ontario. Referred to as Simplicitus Abusus (also found in the subset species 'Bellus Dingus') This creature tends to prey on the vulnerable female of the herd. Lambolian Simolian creates a positive atmosphere at first, but will reveal his true nature after comfort is established. To subdue his prey, he attains trust by means of subtle control. At first this action is seen as positive, and a gradual loss of esteem and worth will be instilled into the female. Lambolian Simolianmoves from female to female, often leaving offspring to fend for themselves. Physical exertion is prohibited due to self diagnosed spine issues. Lambolian Simolianhas a few distinct traits of which he uses on his prey to retain submissive control.
1. The 'Strikus Caninus'- in an effort to maintain alpha male control, Lambolian Simolian will ignore or abuse any male animal who takes away attention from himself, from the female. Lambolian Simolian will often use his sense of hearing to listen for threats from relatives, friends, or possible romantic rivals. Slowly, he will convicnce the female to cease communication with the outside world
2. The 'Slappus Clappus'.-Lambolian Simolian physically strikes the female, thus maintaining control with a reward of satisfaction for himself.
3. The 'Chokus Faintus', in which he uses his hands to restrict the oxygen intake of the female, rendering her unconscious.
Lambolian Simolian boasts of his knowledge about the law of the jungle, using deception and misdirection to try and fool any challenges to his dominance.
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